I met Lotanna two years after graduating, and since then we had been head over heels in love with one another.

Then the trial came. He got a visa to the UK and left, it really was important he did. He was building his career and all, so I understood.

After he left, the calls and all started diminishing with the excuse that he was passing a riotous and difficult phase. I understood, I did. But age wasn’t anymore on my side, and waiting at him was like playing a wild card.

So I met with another guy and in a space of eight months he proposed and now we’re married. Last month a call came into my phone, I picked and behold it was Lotanna.

My heart lept for joy, and when it settled the guilt tugged. I was a married woman and shouldn’t concern myself with him anymore. But I couldn’t help it. I still loved him.

My marriage was out of desperation, and I don’t regret it though for my husband is a good man.

But the heart is stubborn, it knows whose it is. I went to visit Lotanna in his hotel on a later date and we had sex. It was passionate, borne out of crazy needs and distance. That same night my husband made love to me.

And here’s my problem. A week ago, I was at the hospital and I was confirmed pregnant.

But my confusion is I really do not know whose it is. A DNA might tell later, but it would be cruel taking my husband through that mess.

I am worried. Maybe deserving of this burden.

But I am human too and need help

©Nonnie  Roberson
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